Emotional Development | The Difference Between Boys and Girls

in Dr. Jim's FastBraiin


Welcome to Dr. Jim's FastBraiin. I'm Dr. Jim Poole, and I have definitely FastBraiin! In this episode, we will explore the emotional development and differences between boys and girls. It is important to understand that girls and boys develop at different rates emotionally, and this has an impact on their overall development. Join me in taking a closer look. 

Emotional Development:

Girls tend to develop emotionally two to three years ahead of boys. It is crucial to acknowledge and respect these differences when interacting with children. For example, if you tell a 15-year-old boy that he is acting like a 12-year-old, it is because, emotionally, he is still at that stage of development. We cannot expect them to be ahead of their emotional milestones. It is essential to recognize that immaturity is not the issue; it is simply a part of their normal developmental process. 

Speech and Learning:

Similar to emotional development, speech, hearing, and learning also follow different patterns for boys and girls. Reading, particularly, tends to be challenging for most boys. Language arts may be more difficult for them in the early stages, while they may excel in math and sciences. Of course, none of these findings can be applied 100% to all boys and all girls.  Therefore, it is essential to identify our child's strengths and weaknesses and to support their learning journey accordingly. If they struggle with a particular subject, it is important not to push them excessively. Remember, these differences are part of their normal development, and eventually, they will catch up.

Supporting Your Child:

As parents, it is crucial to provide our children with the necessary support and understanding during their developmental process. If your child is emotionally behind, be their hero and help them navigate through it. Find opportunities to have meaningful conversations with them. For boys, the best time to talk is often at bedtime, while for girls, it may be when they come home from school or when you are engaging in activities together, like working out together or preparing meals. These moments of interaction provide an excellent opportunity to connect and talk.


In conclusion, understanding and acknowledging the emotional development and differences between boys and girls are essential for effective parenting and education. Remember, every child develops at their own pace. Give them time, be their advocate, and provide them the support they need to thrive.

- Dr. Jim


Video Transcript

[00:00:00] Dr. Jim Poole, MD: Welcome to Dr. Jim's FastBraiin. I'm Dr. Jim Poole and I have definitely FastBraiin!

[00:00:08] So often, we think of girls developing the same way boys do and the answer is no. Emotionally, girls are two to three years ahead of boys and so when you tell a 15 year old, you're just acting like a 12 year old, the answer is they are because that's emotionally where they are in development. And so we can't expect them to, we try to expect them, but we can't expect them to be way ahead of things. And it's why you say, "Well, he's so immature," or "He's now grown up." It doesn't have anything to do with immaturity. It has to do with regular development.

[00:00:45] Speech is the same way. And speech and hearing and learning. So reading is difficult for most of us boys. Now, nothing's a hundred percent, but most of us boys have a lot of difficulty. So, we don't do as well in the language [00:01:00] arts early on, and we may do better in the math and sciences. And then that follows suit as time goes on.

[00:01:06] So as you sit and work with your child, try to see what are their strengths, what are their weaknesses, and if they're weak in it, don't push him. Remember, it's a developmental type of thing. Eventually, they're going to all catch up and delay is quite normal at this age of being a child or adolescent.

[00:01:26] Just give them time. Give them time to work through it. And remember that even though they may be emotionally behind, you are there to help them. You are there to be their hero. You're there to understand and talk to them and talk to them through it. I think I've mentioned before that the number one time to talk to a boy is sitting on the bedside as he's going to sleep.

[00:01:48] For a girl, when she gets home from school or when you're fixing dinner together, or setting the table together. Not that that's a female thing, but if you happen to be doing that with your girl or an [00:02:00] interactive, that's a wonderful time to chat and talk. I know for me and my boys, when we were throwing a ball or shooting baskets, or hitting tennis, we did a lot of talking.

[00:02:11] Thank you very much for your time, and I look forward to seeing you and talks about FastBraiin.